How I told/tell people I am atheist

As a kid (10 yrs old):

My 5th grade friend and I were playing with an electronics kit and he said if Ii didn't believe in Jesus I would go to hell.  I just looked at him and said I didn't think so.  He said uh huh.  I said uh uh.  And then we made the kit produce a siren sound and his mom came running afraid that the police would come.  This was in Dacca, East Pakistan in the late 60's, they were Baptist missionaries.  My dad is a geologist.

At work late 90's (43 yrs old):

I sneezed at my desk one day and an engineering co-worker at a cubicle across the aisle said "bless you".  I said nothing and then as an afterthought joke he asked "What does an atheist say after he sneezes and you say 'bless you'?"  He didn't know I was atheist and I don't know why he thought it would be funny but I said "I generally say 'Thank you'." He looked at me and then went back to his desk, my impression was that he was surprised, especially since I was his manager.  From that day on I made it clear that I was atheist at work.  Being a manager of the group may have stymied some discussion, but I don't think so.  My mentions are matter of fact only when the subject comes up.  I have one Catholic co-worker who will question and joke with me about it which shocks others sometimes, especially since I hold my own and joke back at her.  But then I've had one come to me on the side and agree with some of my replies, Facebook rants or a comment from the news, especially when it concerns the Pope.  These gals I'll often send science nerd news that shows them how the universe really works, trying to get them to see the real perspective of where we are in the universe.  My morals are probably what has surprised them the most.  Why am I so nice?  Why don't I just want to rape and murder?  What keeps me from trying that?  Seeing the charity things I do used to just baffle them.  I had to explain how altruism benefits a population and that it is natural for me to be good.

Meeting for breakfast the Baptist minister parents of my girlfriend's roommate, who happened to be a Methodist pastor at the time herself.  (Yes, my lapsed Catholic, almost atheist, girlfriend lived with a Methodist pastor when I met her.)  I knew I was going to be asked about my religion at this breakfast but had no prepared answer, mainly because I didn't know how it would come.  Tarah's dad turned to me and asked how I was brought up.  I said, "I was brought up pretty much straight."  What did that mean?  I don't know.  That is what came out of my mouth.  I then qualified that I didn't have any religion growing up and don't have any now.  He was so amused by the "growing up straight" that the topic ended there.  That forced me to have the "I'm atheist" answer ready to use.  One of many moments in life I'd like to do over again but at least learned from.

At the airport in the 2010's:

Friends at the airport, fellow pilots, event volunteers who are also friends on Facebook have seen my posts about atheism.  Three have come up to me on the side and said that they don't believe either.  I hadn't read Why Atheists are so Angry yet so didn't encourage them to come out.  I've read that now and also participate in the Santa Cruz skeptics meet-up group.  That has honed my ability to discuss the issues of religion.  

I am proud that I am atheist.  I feel I dodged a bullet when I realize how much of my life was not wasted with religion.  I've not once regretted expressing my atheism and have been pleasantly surprised by the agreement I've received, even quietly.  But then I live in Santa Cruz county and work in Santa Clara county, pretty safe place to be atheist with bumper stickers and open discussion about religion.  I've been flipped off a few times on the road but never had anyone in my face about being godless.  Online is a different matter… but then I will comment on religious FB and Twitter posts without too much hesitation.  Yes, I can be a troll.  Not actively all the time, but it happens.  I've been angry and I've been reasonable and patient.  Maybe it has gotten through to someone on the sidelines.

An atheist's ten commandments.

From Adam Lee's Daylight Atheism blog his "ten commandments".

First Commandment: Do not do to others what you would not want them to do to you.

Second Commandment: In all things, strive to cause no harm.

Third Commandment: Treat your fellow human beings, your fellow living things, and the world in general with love, honesty, faithfulness and respect.

Fourth Commandment: Do not overlook evil or shrink from administering justice, but always be ready to forgive wrongdoing freely admitted and honestly regretted.

Fifth Commandment: Live life with a sense of joy and wonder.

Sixth Commandment: Always seek to be learning something new.

Seventh Commandment: Test all things; always check your ideas against the facts, and be ready to discard even a cherished belief if it does not conform to them.

Eighth Commandment: Never seek to censor or cut yourself off from dissent; always respect the right of others to disagree with you.

Ninth Commandment: Form independent opinions on the basis of your own reason and experience; do not allow yourself to be led blindly by others.

Tenth Commandment: Question everything. (Including these commandments.)

God in judgment

Today 20 kids lost their lives. 

Mike Huckbee has an opinion.


So do I.“[W]e’ve made it a place where we don’t want to talk about eternity, life, what responsibility means, accountability — that we’re not just going to have be accountable to the police if they catch us, but one day we stand before, you know, a holy God in judgment,” Huckabee said. “If we don’t believe that, then we don’t fear that.”

Why would I fear a God who is so ineffective as to be totally unable to at least call the cops before the shooting starts? It never has before. Or maybe this god is malevolent and shouldn't get our attention. Or is uncaring and there is no point in our attention. Or. There is no god. Mike Huckabee... you've wasted your life on something that doesn't exist. How sad for you. Not nearly as sad as losing 20 kids you think could have been prevented with fear and superstition. Action by us here and now could have prevented it, not fear and superstition. Those kids have lost their one and only lives, they do not go to a better place. They are lost to us. Their lives have been lost, they will never be who they could have been. We will never know who they could have been. This is the price paid for supposed rights (god given in some minds) of gun ownership and personal responsibility that limits aid to mental illness. 

The first five shots I blame on the lack of health care in this country, the rest on the NRA.

There is Always a Price

I was listening to George Hrab's Geologic Podcast episode where he replies to a new atheist about the loss of a loved one.  George made a point I had known but never knew how to put into words.

Everything has a cost or a price.  That car you want.  The career you strive for.  The power or status you crave.  Also other things less materialistic like ethics and morals.   Learning and research.   But maybe the heaviest price is paid for friendships and relationships.

This isn't saying it is bad to pay a price for these things, only that it is there in many forms.  And it may be that the emotional price of a relationship is the biggest for most of us.

When do we pay the price?  Sometimes the relationship is costly as it progresses no matter how it ends.  A relationship may be costly at the beginning for many reasons.  But it seems that at the end of a relationship is where the highest costs are, especially with death, because this is when the realization that you'll never be seeing that person (or pet) again sets in and the sorrow for the loss is the final emotional cost of that relationship.

I think the price is worth paying for a good relationship and most of us do.  Some of us avoid the price by avoiding or limiting relationships which I think limits life too much.  But other people avoid the cost by pretending there is a place where we all go when we die, where the relationship will continue for eternity as if that is a desirable thing.  Besides the fact that this is totally made up with no evidence, it is also cheating, diminishing the price of the relationship lost.  "Oh, I'll just see mom in Heaven when it is my time" is a dismissal of the relationship.  To diminish the cost of the loss with wishful thinking about an afterlife is denial of the cost of the relationship.  It's like shoplifting a candy bar, a short quick satisfaction and doesn't really satisfy the hunger and has it's own cost.

I don't think most people really feel all that much better thinking that there is an afterlife.  The loss is huge, the pain is real, the sorrow is deep for most of us anyway.  Why cheapen the meaning of the relationship with this fantasy/wish for a later reunion?

There might be more thoughts on this...

Death for damaging a book

Tom from Cognitive Dissonance Podcast had this rant on the InKredulous podcast episode #015.  This is in reference to the little girl in Pakistan who was arrested and could have been tried for damaging a Qur'an, the penalty possibly being death.  Turns out the cleric who accused her may have actually planted the damaged book, so he is arrested and may suffer that fate.  I had to transcribe it...  the audio is better with the feeling he puts into it.

Death for damaging a book.

A book made of paper.

A stupid fucking book.  

All that matters is that there is a place of solemnity and respect in the hearts of people for religion and religiosity and religious leaders and we are all supposed to kowtow to this idea that these religious ideas are valuable and the diversity of spirituality and ya-da ya-da ya-da and meanwhile an eleven year old girl is mobbed and nearly killed because people have taken that shit far too seriously for far too long and we are in two thousand and twelve and we live in a world that condemn people to death for violence against books!  Holy books made of paper!  And because of this non-sense, this utter fucking non-sense, my heart is filled with dirty filthy atheist rage when I look on that mindset.  And I give de-facto respect and adulation for religious ideas and religious leaders a hale and hearty "fuck you".

Awesome rant.

There is some good news... the case seems to be opening up the debate in Pakistan about their blasphemy laws.

Atheism definition

I saw a new, concise definition of Atheism.

Atheism is not the absence of belief, it's the freedom to believe in what is true.

No matter what any scripture says, I can believe that evolution is how we came to be, that we live in a 13.7 billion year old universe, that women are equal to men, that it is ok to be gay, that meaningful life does not begin at conception, and many other things that can be shown to exist or be true.  It means that our morality is of our own doing and responsibility.  Purpose and meaning in life is what we make of it for ourselves and again we are responsible for it.

Free Speech and Feminism

Speaking Out Against Hate Directed at Women: Matt Dillahunty

"When someone expresses a concern that something is making them feel unwelcome, we need to address it. Period."

"When someone expresses a concern that something is making them feel unwelcome, we need to address it. Period."

"When you hear a complaint that someone has raised, you might think that they’re expressing an irrational, emotional, over-reaction to the situation. You might even be correct – but it doesn’t matter, and here’s why:
You don’t get to decide what someone else finds offensive.
You don’t get to decide what someone else finds uncomfortable, unwelcoming, disconcerting, stressful, harassing, troubling or painful."

I fully support Dillahunty's position here.  How to reconcile this with the value that no one has the right to not be offended?  (I'm just trying to process his words here)

• Women are being excluded from the skeptical/atheist community by some ingrained and outdated attitudes that get expressed.  Mostly there is no intent to exclude but because of a lack of empathy, there is insensitivity to what is offensive, excluding, and threatening.
• The community wants women involved and active.  Any who don't aren't really part of the community.
• If I offend someone in the community who I want to ally with, then I need to understand why.  Not take offense that they took offense.
• This doesn't mean my free speech rights are curtailed or have limits. 
• It doesn't mean women have the right to not be offended.  
• It means I need to re-look at what and how I say things.  Or reassess my membership in the community.
• Is this censorship?  Not if it is an increase in understanding and knowledge.

Atheist Obama - almost.

"And if there’s anything to take away from this tragedy it’s the reminder that life is very fragile. Our time here is limited and it is precious. And what matters at the end of the day is not the small things, it’s not the trivial things, which so often consume us and our daily lives. Ultimately, it’s how we choose to treat one another and how we love one another. It’s what we do on a daily basis to give our lives meaning and to give our lives purpose. That’s what matters. At the end of the day, what we’ll remember will be those we loved and what we did for others. That’s why we’re here."

As I heard Obama say this on the radio Friday morning after the Aurora shootings, I was thinking how atheist he sounded.  Nothing about heaven or evil or god.  At least not until the very end where he blathered about the Lord giving comfort and God blessing us all.

Atheism - Purposeless & Meaningless

This cracked me up at first (when I saw it on Facebook) in it's demonstrated ignorance of atheism. Atheism is without a belief in gods. Religious belief is a strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny and the world. Spontaneous? Sure, the math, observations, and experimentation of quantum physics expects it. Causeless? Physics. Sourceless? Sure there was a source, but that disappeared an instant later. Purposeless, meaningless existence? Now this pisses me off since I spent the last 4 months preparing for what I spent all day doing yesterday, helping to give hundreds of families with special needs children a safe, inclusive, interesting, fun day at the airport. Purpose in my life is to relieve and prevent suffering, to learn new things, to grow, to make for a better future for my children and their friends. EVERY ATHEIST I KNOW strives for this in some form or another. I do this all the time in my work, home, and spare time. I DON'T need to justify myself to some made up deity in the wishful thinking that there is something after I die. I want my children to be able to live and prosper in a safe world after I no longer can support them, to give them the tools to support me in my old age. That means supporting my community and nation, getting them and the people around them educated, building the community they will need to do the same for their children. Most people do this. They would do it without religion if they half way thought about it. Since it is obvious there isn't any supernatural being doing ANYTHING in this universe, why believe?

Take the test | Pharyngula

http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/12/25/take-the-test/

Why get married conversation...

My friend Violy wonders why Liz and I don’t get married and we’ve had this on-going conversation over the last few months in the hallway.  Yesterday I get this question about decency, that somehow being married is more decent? …

Continuing our discussion about marriage … the decency (conventional?) to introduce this is my wife/husband matters.

---

Me:

Why?

Who decided that married is decent, unmarried is not?  Isn&# 8217;t the nature of the relationship is what matters?  The label “married” has nothing to do if the relationship is good or not.

Barely 50% of US adults are married. 

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/12/14/barely-half-of-u-s-adults-are-married-a-record-low/

---

Violy:

I am not going to click the link …

I got to thinking on my way to the ladies room that there isn 217;t anything you care about … in what people say or think about you.  What matters to you is what you think/feel about yourself.  I am not saying it is wrong to think that way.  It would almost be one is untouchable.

So can you feel hurt?  If you don’t care about what anyone says or think, then you can’t get hurt.

---

Me:

There are lots of things I care about.  I do care and it is important what people think of me and how I live.  I do care to be socially accepted.  But there are limits to what I will do to be accepted.  I will not pray to a make-believe god.  Nor wi ll I pretend to just to look like I do.  I care how people see my relationship with Liz.  It doesn’t need a label to be a good relationship.  I care that a loving, respectful, happy relationship is seen because that is what it is, without coercion by a religion or dogma.  The social norms have always changed and will change in the future.  You live in a world where the marriage label is important, but that may be a shrinking world.  You can have that world, it is important to you and I have no problem with it.  Just don’t expect me to conform to it.

---

Violy:

My views are too simplistic and narrow … I realized it after I sent the last email.  Sorry …

---

Me:

Don’t be sorry, it is worthwhile to discuss and think about these things.

Take the risk of thinking for yourself

"Take the risk of thinking for yourself. Much more happiness, truth, beauty and wisdom will come to you that way."

As did Hitchens, my grandfather Evan lived his life like he didn't know enough, couldn't know enough.

Christopher Hitchens 1949-2011

Christopher Hitchens 1949-2011
"Hitchens is gone. His brain – which was everything he thought, felt, remembered, and all the insight he had to offer the world – no longer functions, and never will function again. The same fate awaits us all. Without regret, Hitchens seemed to understand the flip side of this reality – we are the lucky few who get to live. So make the most of it while you can."

Personalized Billboard.

Out of Body, Roger!

I love Radiolab.  Particularly this one.  Out of body experiences.  Listen.

The Ledge - A movie to see.

Why am I moral?

Another rabbi embarrasses me « Why Evolution Is True:

"I’m pretty sure that Rabbi Jacobs, like nearly all Christians and Jews, picks and chooses his Biblically-based ethics. Why? Because he has an innate sense of what actions are right or wrong, or because he doesn’t think that god’s expressed will comports with modern secular reason and “well being.”

Those, by the way, are also the sources of atheist ethics."

Why, as an atheist, am I moral? Why don't I take and use as I please? Because not following reasonable social standards would not promote the well being of me, my family, my community. Where do those standards come from? From rational reasoning and consensus in the community. Sometimes that consensus isn't all that rational, especially when it is based on theology and belief in magic. But there is no sign that any of it had to come from any gods. Except for the commandments like not to worship other gods and to stone unbelievers to death. Those sound like rules to help keep the priesthood in control of the masses and are not really morals.

In addition to the rational, reasoned morals, there appear to be innate morals that we come pre-wired with. Most of us couldn't abuse our children or harm our parents or attack for no reason our neighbor. There is plenty of evidence this is not learned but innate in our brains. Religion tries to claim ownership of these morals but it is clear we and many mammals come with them ingrained. Thus the free will argument rages, I am not free to harm my daughters because I have these ingrained morals holding me back. The religious say without god, I could. I don't think so. Could you? Seriously?

Finding Truth

Wallidjan,

I watched the video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GADt13X3OBI).  It said nothing other than what you've already said... look around, stuff is complex, there must be a god because stuff is complex.  Someone must have created it all.

How did the flawless order of the whole universe come into being?

Who provided the delicate balances in the world?

How did living beings, incredibility diversified in nature, emerge?

Asking these questions and resigning (submitting) yourself to the easy answer of "god did it" is the way to The Truth?

I am sorry.  No.  Not going to happen.  These questions have very good, god-free, answers.

It isn't flawless in any way.

Nobody.

Evolution.

You kept saying how complex the inner workings of a single cell is.  Yes it is.  But it is understandable and even though I am not a micro-biologist, I know they have very detailed knowledge of how proteins and DNA and all the other compounds of the inner cell work to do the things they do.  The knowledge base of cell mechanics is huge and there is no magic involved.  You are going to claim a designer had to have put it all together.  No, there are natural paths to how the cells evolved.  Chemical reactions are predictable and traceable.  It isn't magic.  How chemistry works isn't magic, it is even easier than biology to test and examine since now you are dealing with the basic elements and chemical reactions.  And these are predictable from the mechanisms of quantum and particle physics.  All the way to the big bang we can trace how things work.  Our universe is probably only one of infinitely many, each with it's own characteristics.  This is the one we exist in.  It is that simple. No god necessary.

A month of listening to the Nature podcast would show you how much they know about the inner workings of cells, physics, chemistry, cosmology.  

http://www.nature.com/nature/podcast/

"A Universe From Nothing" by Lawrence Krauss, beautiful talk on the creation of the universe.  Clear, easily understood, and it even makes sense!

Short clip to tease you to watch the long version: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfOL_oGgRVk

Long version: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ImvlS8PLIo

Very much worth the  time.

Pull yourself out of the grips of this medieval backward belief, it will only drag you down with it.

Tom

An Atheist's View On Abortion

An Atheist's View On Abortion

A clearly worded view on abortion. I've seen abortion as the removal of a tissue growth if done early enough. Even later, without viability, the fetus to me isn't more than a sad story, the evidence being that brain functioning isn't more than automatic survival until very late. I do think every abortion in the later two trimesters should be considered and performed as a birthing in case the fetus does survive without support.

In regards to a soul, I think it doesn't exist outside of the brain. That is pretty much clear to anyone without the corruption of religious belief and even the basics of human biology. Just the fact that a doctor can very effectively shut off your thinking with a couple of drugs makes this obvious. The nature of consciousness is still a scientific frontier that I look forward to future discoveries in. The amazingly complicated system of connections in the brain seems to be leading to it, but how... wow. Considering how the brain is put together and how it evolved, it is amazing we have the capacity to have an intelligent thought at all. Or that mental illness or developmental issues like autism isn't more common. But to attribute this capability to an immortal soul is to ignore the obvious evidence.

The Republican war on Planned Parenthood seems to be a smoke screen to the fact that they can't do what they were elected to do, balance the budget. They can't do it with what they are doing, this is only a stall tactic to get to 2012 with some ability to get into the White House. As with religion, it is all about power, acquiring it and keeping it.

Hitchens in new iPhone commercial - Think Atheist

Hitchens in new iPhone commercial - Think Atheist

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